Written by Jordan Turner, Mindful Education in Schools Director, EQ Practitioner + Assessor
“Just as we are taught to handle numbers precisely to solve math problems, EQ teaches us to be mindful of our emotions, use them to solve problems, and improve our emotional well-being.” ~ Jordan Turner
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to let our emotional and mental well-being be influenced by external circumstances. However, one powerful tool can greatly improve both our emotional and physical health: Emotional Intelligence (EQ). By cultivating emotional awareness and effectively managing our emotions, we can lead more intentional and meaningful lives.
In 2015, I began my teaching career at Jefferson Elementary, a Title I school with one of the most diverse populations in Iowa. I quickly realized there were many aspects of teaching that my college education had not prepared me for.
During my first year, I faced multiple challenges: I contracted the mumps, developed high blood pressure, and wasn’t prioritizing self-care. Despite receiving support from those around me, we were all struggling to manage our well-being. We were constantly putting out fires, unable to self-regulate, let alone teach self-regulation to our students. This experience highlighted the importance of emotional intelligence in my life.
I am also deeply committed to sharing these concepts with other educators, as I believe emotional intelligence is a crucial, yet missing, component of today’s education system. While many teachers understand the importance of "self-care," they often lack the practical tools to implement it effectively. This is why I strongly believe in the power of emotional intelligence in education.
In this post, we will focus on the "Know Yourself" section of the KCG emotional intelligence framework. These practical concepts can be easily incorporated into your daily life.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) refers to the ability to recognize and understand our own emotions, as well as those of others. It involves using this emotional awareness to make intentional choices, manage our behavior, and engage in healthier social interactions. As Dr. Liza Johnson defines it, EQ is not only about understanding emotions but using that understanding to create positive changes in our lives.
At its core, EQ helps us become "smarter with feelings" in the same way that we learn to use intellectual knowledge. Just as we are taught to handle numbers precisely to solve math problems, EQ teaches us to be mindful of our emotions, use them to solve problems, and improve our emotional well-being.
Well-being is a broad concept that encompasses our physical, mental, emotional, and social health. It’s more than just happiness; it’s about leading a balanced, meaningful life. Emotional intelligence plays a critical role in enhancing well-being by improving our relationships, decision-making, and overall health.
Research shows that EQ not only enhances brain health but also contributes to greater overall well-being. By improving emotional literacy and recognizing our emotional patterns, we can change how we respond to challenges, leading to improved health, happiness, and fulfillment.
Know Yourself: The First Step in Harnessing EQ
One of the first steps in cultivating EQ is to "know yourself." This means being able to identify and interpret your emotions and recognizing the thoughts and behaviors that arise in different situations. By becoming a "self-scientist," we develop a deeper understanding of the emotional patterns that influence our actions.
For example, recognizing when we feel fear or anger can help us pause and make a more thoughtful response. By becoming aware of our emotions, we can move away from automatic reactions and make intentional decisions that align with our values and goals.
Here are three key questions to help you start knowing yourself better:
1. What am I feeling?
2. What is this feeling telling me?
3. What is my normal pattern when I feel this feeling?
Let me share a personal example from a time when I didn’t yet fully understand KCG. My aunt and I were preparing for my daughter Eloise’s first birthday party. I love hosting, and I had been planning this event for a long time. The theme was ‘Eloise in Wonderland.’
That morning, my husband, Kevin, decided he needed to mow the lawn, change the mulch, and trim the area by the road. That was his priority for the day—and I was furious.
If I had understood KCG at the time, I could have paused and asked myself, "What am I feeling in this situation?" I would have realized I was feeling angry—very angry. But anger often has an underlying emotion, and in this case, I was probably also feeling overwhelmed because I had set unrealistic expectations for myself, trying to make everything perfect.
Once I recognized these feelings, I could have asked, "What should I do now?" I could have yelled at Kevin to come help me inside, or I could have chosen a more mindful response.
One practice I use in tough situations is gratitude. Focusing on what I’m thankful for helps me reconnect with what matters most. In this case, I wanted to create a joyful environment for my loved ones, our friends, and my daughter on her special day. How grateful I should be to have a one-year-old to celebrate—because not everyone gets that privilege.
Had I approached the situation with this mindset, I may have responded differently. But remember, emotional intelligence isn’t about being perfect—it’s about learning from our mistakes. If I had yelled, I would have reflected afterward, considered how I could have responded differently, and been better prepared for the next time.
The Benefits of Enhanced EQ
Research shows that people with higher emotional intelligence are better able to handle stress, make thoughtful decisions, and lead healthier, more fulfilling lives. They tend to have stronger relationships, achieve their professional goals, and maintain a balanced approach to life’s challenges. Ultimately, EQ improves well-being by promoting emotional health, reducing stress, and enhancing interpersonal relationships.
Incorporating emotional intelligence into your life doesn’t just help you manage your emotions—it transforms the way you interact with the world. By understanding your emotions, cultivating empathy, and practicing emotional literacy, you can improve your relationships, boost your mental and physical health, and create a more meaningful life. EQ is a powerful tool for unlocking greater well-being.
As you continue on your EQ journey, remember to check in with yourself, recognize patterns in your emotions, and respond in ways that align with your values. Doing so will help you experience the positive ripple effects of emotional awareness and a more balanced life.
Mindful Changemaker Program
These questions and this growth is the work of a lifetime. No matter what you do, we all live in communities that beg us to bring our fullest self. At Challenge to Change, we are particularly invested in helping educators grow in their emotional intelligence and use the skills of mindfulness to transform the way they show up to their school communities. Our Mindful Changemaker Program cultivates a space for growth, so you can live and educate with more purpose. If you, or your school is interested in this work, please reach out. We would love to partner with you!
Jordan talks about the inspiration for the Mindful Changemaker Program
Thanks for reading,
Jordan
[Online, Self-Paced Continuing Education] Developing a Relationship with Yourself
This course will guide you through 52 days of learning more deeply about who you are, what you value and your greater mission. Each day, you will be asked to watch a content video, pull from the affirmation deck, journal about your experience and implement your learning into your daily life.
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